If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you’re at mercy of things that you can’t control. The best-selling author and host The number one health and wellness podcast with Jay Shetty Yeah, I’m not even just saying this. I literally think I manifested this. Like it’s the after I saw you at Simeon Haze’s house.
So that was a couple months ago and then a few weeks ago my I was talking to my social media girl randomly. We were just talking about a bunch of stuff um and just kind of what I would love to represent and just talking about a new chapter for me and whatever and I was she was like “Who would you really want to like talk to or whatever?” And I was like, “It’d be so cool to talk to Jay.
” And she was like, “That would be really cool.” And then we kind of just that was kind of the thought and whatever and then you hit me and I was like, “No freaking way. He’s hitting me right now.” So I was like, “Absolutely. This is like perfect. It’s the universe just putting it in perfect timing because That that makes me so happy because it was exactly the opposite way.
So I’ve for a long time had people that I’d love to sit down with and every time I saw you do something with mental health in Vogue or any of the segments that you ever did, I was just like, “She’s amazing.” Like, you know, it’s incredible to the way you were talking about it when you’d post about it. I’d be like, “Oh, this is incredible.
” Like to see see you speaking so openly about it and vulnerably about it. And so I’ve always wanted to do this and then but we’ve never really crossed paths and so I’m always just a bit like and I don’t like asking friends of friends when I haven’t met someone and Right. So I I was like that day I had to like pluck up the courage and be like, “I’m just going to ask her myself.
” Cuz it’s easier when I ask direct and I know Christie so but I was like I it’s nicer when there’s I told my team too. I was like, “It’s so much nicer when there’s like a personal connection For sure. and someone really feels comfortable rather than it’s like a PR thing. was it was so perfect. Like when I think back to it, I’m like, “That was me just trusting the universe and not pushing for anything and I knew it was going to kind of happen when it was supposed to.
” And it literally did. So, you felt it, too. Yeah, I did. That means a lot to me. Yeah, and and I hope that this is the start of spending more time together, Me, too. I would love that. camera, too. I would love that, cuz like I think also, I don’t know, like I admire people like you. I admire like, you know, the the Michael Pollans and Michael Singers and Wim Hofs of the world, and I feel like you fit in that category for me of just people that are Cuz you know, I know a little bit about your story. I’d like to actually know
more, which would be really cool to act I know obviously not here to ask you for that, exactly. But, for me just personally, like I’d love to know more of your story. I know that you’ve had quite the experiences, and I think that’s so cool. I’m like so intrigued by people with just that amount of curiosity and like determination determination and patience.
Like that takes so much patience to be like you or like any of those people that I just listed. It’s so cool to me, and I just I wish I wish for myself, but I’m working on it. that curious, too. You’re that curious, yeah. It’s just, you know, that that level of, like I said, patience and deter- determination is like it’s a gift.
Like that is like a really really amazing gift, and like I said, like I’m just working on it all the time, and I that’s my goal in life, I guess. Well, well, I I think I feel the same way about you again that And by the way, I love all these people you just mentioned, too. So, so I feel very honored to be put into that group of people.
And we’ve had Wim on the podcast before, too. So, he’s been a guest. But, with you, I feel the same way back when it’s like when when you see someone who is so curious, who could get away with not worrying about these things if you don’t want to, but then still being courageous enough to talk about these things, and then using your platform as a space to open up these dialogues.
Like that is as if not more important, as well, as as doing the work and doing the path. Yeah. I mean, I I I can I I can see you doing the work. It’s fun watching you do the work and figuring it out. I love working on myself. Like it is actually like a passion of mine, and like I just I find so much comfort and joy and like actually finding where I think I could better myself and being like, even if it’s physical, like physical as in like my physical health or working out or I just started doing, speaking of Wim Hof, I just started doing like cold plunges
and ice baths and like even if I don’t have the time to go outside, I just got a cold plunge. I did it right before I got here. It’s the best thing ever. It’s also yeah. So, again, it takes so much mental like the whole thing of it is all mental. So, I don’t know, just stuff like that I really love.
So, I’m always I’m always trying to just be the best version of me, and so I just love that. It like actually makes me feel really good. I love self-care, and I just love stuff like that. So, it’s been really cool, but it’s cool for you to say that you enjoy seeing that from me because there’s always been kind of this weird part of it for me where I’m like, is this a pity party? Cuz I don’t want it to be.
Like I want this to feel very positive. I want to connect with people, and I guess that’s that is my goal there is to be like there actually is this side of me that you might may not know of, but the goal here is to connect and also not feel like I’m throwing some pity party for myself because I want this to be a learning experience for everyone.
I want this to be really positive and really really well received. I want you to look at it and actually have a positive feeling towards it. So, I don’t know, you’ll find like if I, you know, when I do kind of post about something or when I want to talk about something, I’m usually sharing a tip or like sharing kind of like a little technique, even if it’s something so simple as like walking outside, taking a few deep breaths, and journaling.
Like Yeah. it’s just that kind of stuff that I really like um to share cuz I feel like I want to be helpful Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And that’s how I That’s at least how I see it. I see it not not completely not as a pity party at all, but so much more as just, “Hey, here’s a reminder or here’s something that I did.
” And I feel like that positivity shines through, too, in the way you do it, so at least if that helps, whatever that’s worth from the outside, it definitely comes across that way. And and this has easily been the warmest introduction to a flow of a conversation I’ve ever experienced in my entire life of doing this. say I was actually I was actually really nervous coming in here cuz this means so much to me.
Like and I’m serious cuz you know, I’ve done a a lot of interviews in my life and when when thinking about this one or thinking about that I even wanted to do something like this, it just it it means a lot to me. And so it made me a little nervous. And I was like I just want to get this right. This isn’t like, you know, me going out and promoting something or talking about something.
This is, you know, something very real that um we all experience, which is just, you know, our ourselves and our well-being and just everything. So Yeah, and this is this is a, you know, for me genuinely and I and I really do mean this. Like the podcast has been a great excuse or really for my side an intention to get to know people and I really admire.
Yeah. And so for me it’s been a great way of building new friendships and relationships because if you can sit and talk to someone and really get along with each other, you’re like, “Oh, we should do this more often.” And so Well, I’m honored. Yeah, so for me it’s definitely been that and to me, you know, you saying that and, you know, taking it as intentionally as you are, it’s, you know, for me it’s as important I I always share this before we start recording usually, but we just flowed.
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, it’s very rare that I get to sit down with someone that I have admired for a very long time from afar. Someone that I believe has inspired me through the sharing of their story.
Someone who speaks so vulnerably and openly about the things that I most care about. Mental health, purpose, uh the journey of life and discovery and curiosity. And what I want to share about this person is when I bumped into them at a mutual friend’s birthday party and I just want to give a big big shout out to Simi and Haze because this wouldn’t happen without them. I love you Simeon Haze.
You’ve been amazing guest on the podcast before as well. Uh I wouldn’t have bumped into this individual and had this opportunity to reach out to them. And as soon as I reached out, this has been the most flowing conversation and connection that I’ve possibly had on the podcast to be honest.
So, I just want to put that out. I’m speaking about the one and only, someone who needs no introduction, but successful business founder, international supermodel, uh founder of the incredibly successful tequila brand 818, and star on the Hulu’s The Kardashians, which premieres in second season on September 22nd, the one and only Kendall Jenner.
Kendall, thank you so much for doing this. having me. That was a wonderful introduction. Oh, well, it’s it’s honestly been such an honor getting to know someone who it’s very rare that I find someone who functions in with very similar values in in a personal connection sense. So, when I reached out to you, I I really meant everything I said.
And I could have written you an essay, but I was like, let’s spare her the details. And then to to get your response and then for us to be here within a couple of weeks of connecting. Yeah. And even your message this morning, I just want people to know. I was like, the the text you sent me this morning, I was like, this never happens.
Like, I was like, this is amazing. And I was like, but and I was literally going to do the same thing. And so, to me I was like, this is very rare. And so, I love the synergy and the flow that we’re experiencing and Me too. I’m excited to get into it now. Yeah. funny cuz I called I called Haze before um the other day and I was just like, “Oh my god, I’m going on your friend’s show.” and whatever.
And she was like, “He’s the best. It’s going You’re just going to flow right into it. He’s so easy to talk to.” And that’s literally what happened. And like I told you, I just feel like I manifested this moment for for both of us and for this just this whole experience. And so, I am really happy to be here. And I’m honestly honored.
Like I said, I admire you and I There’s so many people like you that I admire. So, I think sitting down here with you is just so cool for me. And I get to talk about fun things with you. Amazing. Amazing. First of many. And And I wanted to start with because I I always like to start with just things that I’ve seen more recently.
A couple of days ago, I think you posted a beautiful picture of you hugging your horse. Uh and you were like, you know, like snuggle time or something like that. And I was just like, when when did horses become a part of your life and how did you get so close to them? I think I’ve spent many lifetimes with horses. I think this is very one of many lifetimes that I’ve had.
I grew up in a horse community. So, where we grew up, horses everywhere. Trai More trails than there were homes, really. And so, I was always around horses, and I just was deeply in love with them. And I have no explanation, and that’s why I say I feel like in past lives I have just been around horses. Yeah, so since I was a really young kid, loved them and continued to love them my whole life.
They’re just the best. They’re the most majestic and gorgeous and spiritual. They feel everything. I just like It’s such an honor to be in their presence and to be able to do what I can do with my horse I find so magical, that I can stand in her stall with her and just like vibe out with her. I I like sometimes come to like a little get a little teary-eyed when I’m standing in my stall with her cuz I’m like, this is so cool that you allow me to do this and we have this connection without any words. It’s just the best thing ever.
So, I love them. Yeah, that’s so special. I I have a different teary-eyed story with horses, but I’ll I’ll tell I’ll tell you the short version. So, when I proposed to my wife, who I can’t wait to introduce you to, when I proposed to her, which was 8 years ago or something like that, when when I proposed to her, I organized a very, what I would consider like a very a very Hollywood proposal.
It was It was too over the top, and I would do it totally different today with all everything I’ve learned. But, yeah, it happens. It happens. And so, we were walking to buy the Thames in London, which is where we both born and raised, and this a cappella group jumps out, and they’re singing Bruno Mars, and then like they give her a bouquet of flowers, and then I get down on one knee, I propose, we have dinner by the river and then we walk around the corner and there’s a horse-drawn carriage to take us around to take us around London. And so we’re
on this carriage, we have this beautiful, you know, path through London and then we get into the train to get back home to her parents to tell them and they already knew. She’s got hives all over her face. And all over her arms. She’s allergic to horses and I found out the day I proposed to her. I was like, all right, so that She was like She had tears and when we got back her parents were like, “What did you do At least you got to enjoy the moment.
At least you got to enjoy the moment yeah, it wasn’t so laughters. But but no, I I love horses. No, I love horses the same way you do. Like I I used to go to India a lot when I was a kid and that’s where I first learned to be with horses and it I mean, they’re so therapeutic. Absolutely, yeah. there’s equine therapy. It’s the best.
Exactly. Yeah, they make me they make me when I’m with her. I have a few, but I’m most mostly with one of my horses right now because I’m Her name’s Dilantra. I didn’t name her. She came with her name. But I call her Dylan or Dill. I love her so much, but when I’m with her I I genuinely I speak of like I I spoke about how I’ve just loved horses my whole life.
I I feel like a kid around her. Like I feel like my 12-year-old self that would get up every morning at throughout the entire summer at 8:00 a.m. to go just be at my trainer’s facility and I would stay there from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. I’d ride all her horses, I’d groom all her horses, I would just sit in the stalls with all the horses.
Like it just anytime I’m with her, I just have that sense of like being a child again and it’s a really really good feeling. Yeah, animals have that special ability, don’t they? Like whichever animal you’re attracted to and I I’ve I never thought I would, but when I lived as a monk, the animal that’s revered in India is cows.
And you would never think of cows being like majestic or you know, in that way, especially when you’re not in India, but the cows in India have these like lotus-like eyes. Like their eyes are just like absolutely stunning, yeah. And they’re so special and they’re such gentle animals.
And recently Roddy and I went trekking with gorillas in Rwanda. And gorillas are the We have to go. I That sounds unreal. It was unbelievable and they’re the animal that’s revered in Rwanda. So, whenever they have a new gorilla that’s born, they have a naming ceremony with the community and it’s It’s so beautiful, but And then I heard somewhere that you your first job was you were a dog walker.
Yeah. And so I was thinking like, do you have any lessons or anything you learned by being a dog walker? I think first jobs are so interesting. Yeah. No, I mean, I was always a super disciplined child. Like meaning to my Like I just loved I would put myself to bed at 7:00 p.m. Be like my mom would be like playing with me and my little sister and be like, “Mom, it’s 7:00.
I got to go to sleep. Like it’s time for my bedtime.” She’d be like, “Are you okay?” And so, I was always that kid and so I I think I just was always really eager to like work. I don’t know why. I just like wanted to always have something to do, something that I felt passionate about, that I really enjoyed. And so, yeah, when I was young, I put some flyers around our community and said I would walk dogs and I ended up getting people that would get Let me have their dog for a few hours and take it for a walk. So, I loved animals and I
liked having something to do. So, I spent I was a kid that liked to be by myself with animals. So, like I think that that was a cool very fitting thing for me cuz I got to be by myself walking, but then also experience all these little dogs with their owners. Yeah. Yeah, I wish I did that. I used to deliver newspapers.
So, that was my first job and it’s not as glamorous in London because it’s raining. Was that what you were desiring or was that more just like old and wanted to make some money. You were just like, “I need a I was like, “I need to make some money.” Yeah. And so, I was like, “All right, I’m going to start doing this.
” And you don’t get to, you know, you’d see it in the movies where the paperboy just like chucks the paper at the door, but I had to actually go and put it inside. So, my only interaction with dogs is they were on the inside grabbing the paper. And so, yeah. at you. Yeah, they’re barking and stuff, but I always love knowing about people’s first jobs and and how things started for them because of, you know, obviously where you are today, but what do you think it was in those early years where you just said you were very disciplined? Like it sounds like you
were you were aware of certain habits that you built then. What were some of the things that you feel confident about or how did how did you look for validation in those early years and where did it come from for you? I mean, it’s interesting. So, Kylie, my little sister, she was always the social butterfly.
I was always I just liked being to myself. I don’t know if that’s the Scorpio in me, so it just came naturally or whatever. I had a I had a group of friends who I loved, but I just I I like can vividly remember just on the weekends not running to go be with my friends all the time. During the summer, I was with them, but on the weekends in between school, I would I was really just by myself.
I would love to like hang out in my room. I like was kind of a nerd. I loved video games and like sitting on the computer and playing Sims all day. Like I just kind of liked being to myself. And then all day long during the summer was with my horses. And yeah, I don’t know. I just it just brought me joy.
I don’t think I have like a you know, a super long explanation for that. It was so simple for me as a kid. Like it was just as simple as that made me happy. And that’s just what I wanted. And it explains, I guess, a lot of me now. Um I went through like a phase where I felt like I had to be around people.
I think I live a very social life and my job is very social. So, I was, you know, kind of conditioned to want to be around people a lot. And then as, you know, the pandemic came around, you’re not around as many people anymore. And now I’m just re-enjoying being by myself, which is really cool. Yeah. And um I had the most I had the best day on Sunday all by myself.
I got up. I went and rode my horses. I like um took my niece to ride her pony. Just me and her. It was so nice. Brought her back home, went to my house, got in my cold plunge, went in my pool, laid out, journaled. Like, I was having the best day and I was just pretty much all by myself. So, I I enjoyed it so much.
that. I’m sure that’s so refreshing for people to hear, too, because I feel like people may, from the outside, perceive a life, which obviously, like you said, for work, it’s busy and it’s social. And of course, you have wonderful friends, but to know that you can feel comfortable in your own company, and that’s been a habit that you’ve developed over time.
I crave simple things. Like, I I love my life and I love my job and I I feel so fortunate that I have been placed here, that for some reason, I was given this life. Like, I feel immensely grateful for that. And I have had so much fun. And I like think back on just the experience that I’ve had the experiences that I’ve had this far.
And it’s like it’s like a shocking to me. I’m like, this is so freaking cool that I live this life. But at the end of the day, like when I am home and when I’m alone, like I crave the simple things. I love a simple day. I love just like a simple routine and being to myself and being around the people that I love, my small core crew. So. Yeah. That’s beautiful.
Yeah, I mean, that’s I think that’s what we’re all striving for is that passion in our careers and our work and then the simplicity at home. What would you say I I was thinking about this and I’ve watched so many of your interviews and and read so much, too, but what would you say for you has been one of your like proudest moments or greatest achievements or something that you really feel like, and internally I mean, like for for the basis of our conversation, like something that really brings you joy internally when you think
about it or when you when you had it? Like I said, I look back and the things that I’ve accomplished, just even my job. Like, I think I really, at one point, when I was younger, decided I want to be a model and this is what I want to do. And the fact that I executed, cuz we talk about that determination, like I really was I was 14 years old when I kind of made that decision and was like, this is what I want to do and I went to my mom and I was like, please help me do this.
And I didn’t stop until I was 24 that I was like, okay, I think I need to like take it back a notch, which we can also get into cuz that’s a very Yeah. kind of dramatic story, but like I I just knew and I think I’m proud of myself for being that kid and being determined to do that and then executing and doing it to the to the level that I had done it and that I I guess I still do.
But I I also am proud of I think more so the self-work that I’ve done within that process cuz there was a long period of time, I’d say the core five years of it that I was extremely overworked, not my happiest, not because I wasn’t doing what I loved, but just because I was overwhelmed and I was I felt like I was saying yes to everything cuz I felt really, really grateful and really honored to be in the position that I was in, so I was always saying yes.
And it just took a lot out of me to the point where I just wasn’t happy anymore. And so I had to set those boundaries for myself when I was about 23, 24. I’d say like what, a year before the pandemic, so yeah, I was probably 23. I really set boundaries for myself and I was like, I want to continue to do this cuz this is what I love, but I need to start saying no when I can and prioritizing me and prioritizing like, you know, my happiness and my well-being. Yeah.
And it has done wonders for me. Like I feel like I can show up better for myself and I can show up a better person for the people that get to be around me that day and you know, that I work with on that day, so Yeah. Yeah. So what I’m proud of. Sorry I didn’t give you a long answer to your question. I won’t say hoping for that because I I’m always open to wherever anyone’s life experience goes, but there’s a part of me that loves hearing that.
Like, I really appreciate hearing that because when you’ve achieved so many incredible things in your career, which you have, to then say, “Well, this is the part, like knowing how to navigate it or making the right choices at the right time.” Healthy balance. balance, yeah. important. It’s important for all of us. Yeah.
Like, we have to This is what we’re prioritizing, you know? Yeah. How did you find the courage to do that at the 23 mark as you’re saying? You’re in a competitive industry. As you said, it was overworking. It’s fast-paced. I’m guessing there’s comparison in that industry. There’s competition in that industry. It’s not an easy space to be.
You’re Of course. you know, you’re in the top 0.01% in your industry. So, it’s it’s hard. And the reason I asked this is because I work with so many people in this space, and to have the courage to say, “No, I know that if I saw this out, then all of this is going to be just fine.” That actually takes more courage than we recognize.
We realize that when you have nothing, then there’s nothing to lose. You can actually have a lot of courage. But when you have everything and there’s everything to lose, and a lot of the time, at least what I’ve heard in in town is, you know, older managers and agents, and I’m not saying you have any of this, but people that I know will be told, “Well, hey, if you don’t do this, like, you’ll be forgotten next year or, you know, your your career’s only going to last another 6 months.
” How did you have that courage to say, “No, no, no, I need to do this”? Like, where did that come from? And I think that it’s like, I’ve never thought about it that way, to be completely honest with you. I just knew that if I had gone any further, that I was going to lose myself. I was at that very I was on the teeter-totter edge of that point where had I gone any further, I was probably not going to be great.
It was so important to me to feel good that I just knew that it was something that I had to do, and I can’t say like you’re absolutely right. Like there were so many people around me that had told me not to say no, and told or told me yeah, told me not to say no, told me not to stop. I fought my way out of it a little bit because there were people that had worked for me that, you know, didn’t want me to stop cuz it might have benefited them.
Of course. But I got to that point and I just knew I had to do it and I I just I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it, I guess. Yeah. It was just such an unbelievable sensation that I had where I knew that if I do this, I’m going to be better for everyone, and I’m going to be better for myself, which means I’m going to be better for the people around me.
And I have to do this. And so, it wasn’t really I want to be able to live with happiness, God forbid any of this ever went away. And I think that that was a big moment for me of being like, I’m going to be okay Mhm. if I don’t get this job tomorrow. And I’m going to be okay if I don’t get that job in a month.
If I have to take this time to do whatever, things will come, everything’s going to work out the way it’s supposed to, and I had to trust that. So. Yeah. Well, to me from the outside and it’s it’s beautiful that you didn’t see it in yourself because that almost makes it even more wonderful. But the idea that to me from the outside, that’s a lot of courage. Yeah. Thank you.
it takes a lot of courage, it takes a lot of vulnerability and openness, and and it takes courage at every level, whether someone’s thinking about quitting their job to do something they love, or whether someone’s trying to relocate their family and doesn’t know how, or whether someone like you is feeling success but then going, “Well, wait a minute.
” And I think in the past few years we’ve seen athletes and musicians and actors and people in all creative industries step back and say, “Well, I need to put me first.” Yeah. And I think that that’s empowering Mhm. because I think we hear about burnout in work culture and corporate culture so often. So what what what was it that you started to do with that new found time at that time? Like where was Is that where the curio- Was the curiosity always there and now you could actually follow it? It was.
It was It was always there and I had had a lot of people coming to me telling me about meditation and how it changed their life and therapy and so many different things and I was a bit overwhelmed cuz I was like, “Oh my god, what if this is going to suit me?” I think it’s a very personal experience. I think everybody has a very different version of all of that stuff and so it was a little overwhelming.
So, I think I really just took the time to be off for a second. It was even the little things. It was like being able to go to my friend’s birthday party which I wouldn’t have been able to go to before cuz I was working a lot. I I love hearing that because I think it is those simple things like you know, giving yourself that space whatever it is that you needed to do when you needed it and and like you said, sometimes it’s like that’s when all the subscribe buttons come up in front of you and it’s like, “Try this and try this.” And it’s like, “Well, no,
no, no, let me just take my time.” It was also now that I think about it, 23, I’m 26, I’ve had my horse for So, around that time is when I bought the horse that I have now who is my like I I jump her and I like how I I have a two other horses but they’re like retired so I don’t really ride them the same way I ride her.
So, yeah, I guess it was around that time too that I was like, “I’m going to do this cuz I love this.” And like I want to get back into it and this is what I’ve loved my whole life. So, so it was around that time that I feel like all of that started happening and I bought my horse and I like started taking more time for things that made me really happy.
Yeah, what what I what I’m noticing in you and observing or at least from just these No, in a good way. In a good way. It’s all good. I was just saying it’s like it feels like no matter what’s happening in your orbit, there’s this pillar of belief that it’s important to be happy. Like it you know, that’s like this core center belief in your life where it’s something that’s important to be happy.
It’s important to be happy. It’s that has to be the goal. For sure. And you know, it’s not always easy. We live in such an interesting industry and in such an interesting time with social media that it can be very hard sometimes. You can fall victim to so many things that don’t serve you and that don’t make you happy.
If your happiness depends on the actions of others, you know, you’re at mercy of things that you can’t control. Mhm. And that’s never where I want to be. So I I always want to live in like me and my therapist talk about like my higher goddess, my higher self. Like I always want to live there knowing that you know, when I’m there, you can’t take that away from me. Yeah.
That That’s mine and no matter what you can disagree with me, you can agree with me. That’s not going my I’m not changing. I’m not shifting. I’m here. I’m in my higher goddess. So I kind of I always live by like keep holding my happiness and not letting anyone else affect it. And though I fall victim to it at times, yeah.
we as we all probably do, Absolutely. I um I strive every day to live in that place. So What are What are some of the qualities of your higher goddess or that that kind of uh avatar like She’s awesome. Like I said, I don’t love a pity party. I also like, you know, sometimes it feels weird to like say good things about yourself, but I’ve also learned a lot about talking to myself and a lot about looking in the mirror and being like, “You’re great. You’re gorgeous.
You’re amazing. You’re loyal. You’re positive. You’re so many Like I love words of affirmation. I love just sitting there and reassuring myself of who I am because that’s another thing for me. You know, there’s so many false narratives about me, about all of us, I’m sure. Like, so many people think they have you figured out when they don’t even know the half of it.
So, sitting there and being like, you know, you get frustrated sometimes. It could feel really unfair. You could be reading something that someone is saying about you or hearing something that someone’s saying about you and being like, that is so unfair cuz that’s not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes and that really sucks. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am.
Mhm. And that’s all Why does anything else matter? And my friends know who I am. And my family knows who I am. My dog knows who I am. My horse knows who I am. Like, why does any of everything else is just noise? I I do this exercise. I don’t think I’ve shared this before, but I do this exercise with some of my clients where we’ll go on a walk and we’ll be on a hike wherever we are.
And I’ll ask them what they think a piece of, you know, maybe there’s a little leaf or maybe there’s some a flower or something that looks a little unique on the path. And I’ll say, “What do you think that feels like? And what do you think it would feel like if you picked it up in your hand?” Mhm.
And they’ll be like, “Oh, it looks really rough and like it might scratch me and like it looks like a bit, you know, like uneven or whatever and looks kind of hard and strong.” And then I’ll ask them to pick it up. And nine times out of 10, it’s completely different. Like, they’ll pick it up and it’ll just dissolve in their hands or they’ll turn it over and the color’s really soft.
And sorry, the shape the shape’s really soft and the color’s totally different on the other side. And I do that exercise to help us realize just how multifaceted humans are. Like, today I’ve got to meet you and and obviously we’re spending a lot of deep, intimate, vulnerable time together. So, you learn faster about someone, but if someone only follows someone on social media or only sees someone at an event or only sees one interview, it’s so easy to create such a singular view of someone.
Right. And I think and I want to say this because I really think we all feel it. I don’t think anyone wants to be seen Mhm. in a singular way. Mhm. If you had to choose one word that had to be you for the rest of your life, I don’t think anyone wants that. I think we all know that we’re messy and complex and and different.
Of course. But we like to put someone else in a box, whoever that may be, Mhm. because it’s easier then to live life and say, “Okay, well, that’s person’s A, B.” Right. You know, so there’s this beautiful piece of wisdom that I always share from Charles Horton Cooley, and he wrote this in 1890, I think it was, which just shows how true this has been for such a long time, and obviously long before that as well.
And he said, “The challenge today is I’m not what I think I am. I’m not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” And we’ll let that blow everyone’s mind for I it gives me chills every time I say it. He uh Charles Horton Cooley said, “The challenge today is I’m not what I think I am. I’m not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am.” And what he’s trying to say is that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So, if I think you think I’m smart, then I allow myself to feel smart. Right. It’s like we need that validation. Or if I think you think I’m not smart, then I feel hurt. Yeah.
And and the challenge is I don’t know what you’re thinking at all, or especially outside in the world. And so I find that what you’re saying around like, “Well, what do I think about myself?” Mhm. Like, how do I feel about myself? How do the people that actually know me Mhm. feel about me? I think that’s really empowering.
I wanted to ask you because I feel like from from what I’ve seen and from what I’ve heard, you have you have great friendships. You have a great relationship with your families, you said. Like, what do you think have been really great habits or traits in relationships that have helped you build up good friendships and and family relations? Because I think for so many people, sometimes their friendships and their family can often be the most difficult part.
but I feel like the way you communicate or the way you’re talking about it, I’m like, “Okay, there’s some really good habits in place here.” Have there been any principles or rules that you’ve learned along the way that have been helpful? I mean, of course, honesty. Um I’m a big person on like keeping a really honest, healthy, communicative relationship.
Um but I also think like I find it really important to have not feel like you’re on top of each other when you have your family around or your friends around. It’s okay to like sometimes even if you’re at like a family dinner running to the bathroom and just be like, “Let me just take a couple breaths because this is getting overwhelming.
” Do you know what I mean? So, I just love to like take a second. My feelings are valid. Like sometimes my family’s a lot, which I bet everyone already knows. So, just everyone’s families are have a sense of crazy to them. But But I think that I can get really overwhelmed really easily.
I am prone to just, you know, a good amount of anxiety and just being extremely overwhelmed and kind of taking everything too seriously sometimes. So, I like to just step away sometimes and just be like, “This is okay. I’m allowed to feel this way. It’s valid. I’m just going to take a deep breath and I’m not going to react and then I’m going to go back out there and I’m going to be fine.” That’s a great idea.
I love that. I love how easy it is. You don’t need to No one needs to learn a new meditation practice. So, a new thing. That’s That’s so accessible. Yeah, it’s as simple as that. Yeah. I you know, one of the things that, you know, when it which which really touched my heart when I saw this because I think when things happen in culture and and everyone talks about it, but but sometimes you’re like, “Okay, well, I can tell that there’s a real connection here.” Like when when you lost Virgil.
Mhm. Right? Like that when I when I saw your message and what you spoke about it, I was like, “Wow, this is this is someone who had a really deep connection with this individual.” And going through grief is really, really tough. Like, you know, people who lose and I lost uh two really close people to me during the pandemic. I’m sorry. One was Thank you.
One was One was my spiritual teacher since I was 12 years old and he died of stage four brain cancer and I hadn’t seen him during the pandemic. I couldn’t go back for his because that was still when it was like tight lockdown. So, I couldn’t go back for his funeral. And, you know, he’d been the person who’d been such a key piece of my life.
And then the other person, pretty much in the same year, was my best friend as a monk. So, he was still a monk. And and he having to get cancer and he passed away during the pandemic. I couldn’t see him either. And he was my age and so to lose someone that was, you know, he was still there.
And so, yeah, and so and so when I saw your, you know, your wonderful tribute to Virgil as well, I was like, you know, how how how do you process something like that when, you know, it’s not only industry friends but genuine friendship beyond that and just Well, my first thought here is, why is it always the best people? Like, why is it always these people that are just such balls of light in everyone’s life.
It’s like so, you just think about it and you’re like, this is so unfair and you’re going through every emotion and to be honest, it was really shocking cuz not everyone knew what he was going through and suffering from. So, it was really shocking. I’ll never forget the day I found out and it just absolutely obviously breaks your heart and you can’t help but be like, oh my god, did I did I ever say enough? Did I ever tell him enough? It’s really interesting to share that feeling with so many people. It feels good in a way and
you’re just like, everyone it makes you feel so human and you’re sharing this emotion with people that knew him, people that didn’t know him, people that just loved him from afar and it’s just a really beautiful and incredible thing to a certain degree but then also just obviously the most devastating thing.
It hits so hard when so many people are talking about it and so many people are affected by it. So, it was definitely, um, a really shocking, really sad time. Yeah. It was, yeah. Yeah, and those and and it’s really interesting what you said there is like why and and I had that with my spiritual teacher for sure. I was just like like he was, you know, and and what’s really powerful about what I could at least remember from him at the time was that even though he had stage four brain cancer, which means he’d lost his short-term memory and a lot of his
long-term memory was impaired, if you ever met him, he would just thank you for your service to God. Like he would just say, “Thank you for everything you’re doing for other people.” And he would just be grateful. And I was just like, “How how V was, too. He was the most positive, lived life, like, appreciative, wanted to say yes to everything, wanted to just be there for everyone.
You could literally ask him to design a pencil for you and he would be like, “Oh, it’ll be done tomorrow. What do you need What else do you need?” Like, he just had so much to give and he gave it. And that wasn’t That was pre-his diagnosis. That was like That was just who Virgil was. And so, to then find out what he found out at a certain point in his life and still be that person and still like, “I’m going to show up for everyone.
” And like, “My time here is so special to all these other people and I’m going to just like be here to make them feel amazing.” It’s just like unreal. Like it makes you just feel like, “What?” Yeah. Like, how how? You’re How could you be that incredible and giving? Like that is so crazy. There wasn’t a selfish bone in that man’s body. Like he was just the best.
Yeah, and and But I’m sorry to hear about your Oh, no, no. I I think it’s it’s actually nice speaking about people that we both love in in a sim- in a in a similar way even though we’re in such different places in life doing very different things. But they to talk about someone’s and I think that’s a big part of it for me at least with grief that I feel like when I talk about the beautiful qualities of the people that I lost, it gives me so much confidence that they want me to live it and they want me to try and embody it and that how
fortunate we are to have experienced that type of humanity. Yeah. Like you know too And those are my thoughts of him. Like I think all we ever really want as human beings is to be you know when we do leave this earth we want to be remembered so beautifully and positive- positively. I know at least I do of course but like you just want you of course want to make people feel something and he made so many people feel something and for that it is so special.
Like what do they say that we you know we have our purpose here and I know that he fulfilled a purpose here that he was supposed to fulfill and I think that that’s I think about it beautifully. Like I obviously it’s a very very sad situation and it and it breaks my heart but I have nothing but beautiful thoughts of him and I think that’s really cool and really special.
So Yeah. You thank you for sharing that too and I I I have to ask you because yeah I just I feel I I love hearing amazing things about amazing people that you know because I think so many of the most incredible people I grew up reading about people that I never met and I spent a lot of my life studying books about people that I never met so Malcolm X and Martin Luther King and Einstein and people that I really see as people that have directed so much of my life from how they lived and I feel like he was potentially one of those people that
I never met him but whenever I hear about him I’m just like oh this is someone that we could learn from. You spoke about purpose there. I was wondering how is your purpose changed? You had this very confident view of a I want to be a model, you know, you’ve you’ve superseded, exceeded, and continue to flourish in that world, and I and I always wish that you do.
How has your purpose evolved as that time’s gone on? I think I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned a lot about myself, about what I want from my life, and which is kind of what we’ve been talking about, but um I’m actually really excited to get older and to learn so much more about not only myself, but like the journey and the path that I I guess want to take and want to be on.
So, I’d say, you know, my purpose has evolved from obviously within business, doing what I want to do, and making sure I’m happy, and finding the thing that I love, and all those things, but I’ve kind of like I said, really tuned into me, and I think my purpose, at least at this very moment, and what I’ve kind of evolved into is is my higher goddess.
Like, I am determined to tune into her at all times, but also as I get older, I have so much that I want to connect with other people, and with, you know, aka social media, and people that may not know me personally, and just, you know, the following. Like I said, I was given this life for some reason.
For whatever reason I was placed here, and I do feel a purpose to share, and connect, and put a smile on people’s faces, or make someone feel a positive feeling, and so I think that within me wanting to achieve me tuning into my higher goddess, I think that also entails me being a great version of myself for other people to then experience, and my tips, and my tools, and whatever I can share, whatever help I can give.
I I really you know, as corny as it sounds, I want to spread love Like I want people to feel love. I That’s really, I guess, the purpose. Yeah. That’s That’s beautiful. I mean, what more could you ask for? Yeah. Right. Yeah. And And And it is funny that so much of the stuff that is corny or, you know, whatever, that’s the stuff that’s true. Like, that’s the stuff that It is.
Like, there’s also just We all just like live in such a It’s an interesting time, obviously, and it can feel really negative. Yeah. And I tend to stay off of platforms like social media platforms because it’s hard to look at sometimes, and it feels really negative. So, I feel like we all just need a little bit of a smile sometimes. I agree.
I agree. I I post these uh videos every day, which are just these fun, silly things that happen in the world that my my team will find, I’ll find, and I post them every day literally for that reason and that reason only because I’m like, I may or may say may or may not say something that makes someone smile. Right. But this definitely will.
Like, this this without a doubt will bring some joy to someone’s life. And if if this is the only joy that someone experienced, I want them to see good in the world Mhm. and believe that there’s good in the world. That’s one of my favorite things to see on um Tik Tok. When I sit in my bed at night and fall victim to Tik Tok, I love to see There’s people that will post like um here’s like five amazing facts that have happened in the world in the last couple weeks or whatever, and it’ll be like the you know, pandas are not
extinct anymore, and like the Great Barrier Reef is coming back, and stuff like that. And so, I’m like, that’s so cool. That’s what I want to hear. Exactly. And And, you know, if it was like it’s going down, it’s like it’s going to get a lot of likes and hits, but if it’s going up, it doesn’t get the same attention. Yeah.
do we like gravitate towards the negative so much? Like I know. very interesting. I I genuinely believe it’s just a pattern. It’s a pattern and a habit that’s been adopted for so long. And we have to retrain ourselves. of it all and the whole thing, and we’re like, that’s going downhill. I need to see what’s happening, and we just like we do need to retrain our brains.
It’s exactly what it is. Yeah, and it starts with what you said earlier. It starts with how we see ourselves. Mhm. It is all from that. If someone looks in the mirror, as you were saying earlier, or if someone just reflects on themselves, not in a physically, but just internally. Yeah. Most of us will spot all the negative things about ourself, and then we take that out into the world and spot all the negative things about everyone else.
And then we take that out into social media and So, that just propels from if you ask a reflection of yourself. If we ask someone to sit down and write down, as you said, we feel uncomfortable taking a compliment, or we feel uncomfortable saying something Saying nice about ourselves, right? Exactly.
And so, it all starts with our relationship with ourself. If we were able to find three good things about ourselves today, I promise you you’re going to find three good things about the person sitting in front of you, and and that will Right, exactly. I do a lot of like inner inner child work with my um therapist, and there’s actually a trend on TikTok that was going around, but um coincidentally enough, we ended up naturally speaking about it in my session, and it was like this trend on TikTok, I guess, that was like um like a girl being like, “Anytime you’re
being mean to yourself, just think this is who you’re talking about.” And then it flashes to like a photo of her as a kid. Yeah. And so, I me and my therapist were talking about something similar, and she was like, “Why don’t you find like a photo of yourself and put it on your bathroom mirror, so that every morning, every night, every day when you walk into your bathroom mirror, you’re looking at her and you’re remembering that if there’s anything negative that you’re ever saying about yourself, if you’re being mean to yourself, you’re
talking about her.” And so, I did that, and I went into my um I went into like my memorabilia closet in my house, and I was looking through old like photo books, and I’ve seen these photo books my whole life. I’ve literally seen every photo that’s been in here, and I like flipped to a page, and there was a photo I’d never seen of myself, ever.
It was a Polaroid, so it was the original photo, and it was just me as a little girl with a bow in my hair and a dress on and I have like a little alien tattoo or something right here and I’m like have this big cheesy smile on my face and I was like that’s the photo I’m putting on my thing. I can show you the photo later.
I have a picture of it on my phone but um so I pasted it on my bathroom mirror and I talked to her and I’m always like if I’m ever looking in the mirror and being negative towards myself or anything I’m I always look right over to her and I’m like she’s dope and I love her and so it’s just another way of just self-love. that. That’s such a great tool.
That’s such a great tool. My team found a kid picture of me and made an embarrassing version of that trend so I’ll show you that too but Oh awesome. Okay, so you know it. Yeah, I know exactly I know exactly what you’re talking about as well. Kedo, you saying earlier that you know you you wanted to come here and you you wanted to share and you manifested and you there were things you wanted to share.
What is it that’s on your heart that you’ve wanted to share that maybe we didn’t go there today already or is there something on your mind and heart as an experience or a any anything that really drew you here and made this happen right? Like I want to honor that. I think we’ve obviously we’ve honestly touched a lot of what I felt like I would have loved to get off my heart. I don’t know.
I was really excited honestly to come here and share a little bit of me that I feel is very sometimes scary for me to share and um like I said I came in here and I was a little nervous cuz this is important to me and like this part of you know everyone’s journey and and what we’re talking about today is is so important.
I really that was I guess my intention here today was to come in and share a little bit of me and maybe for whoever’s watching they find some comfort in this or some joy from this or they understand me a little bit more. You know what I mean? So I think that we’ve hit a lot of really cool points and yeah, I mean I feel I feel really good. Good. I wanted to honor that.
I I asked that because you know I think it I think when when you feel you’re in that flow with someone and yeah, I I feel like, you know, we’ve learned so many new things about you today and there’s so many moments where I’m like I just feel like you’re so comfortable and and you’ve been so open with us, but I just wanted to honor that.
Thank you. Thank you so much. that you’ve really felt heard and seen and I appreciate that. Thank you. I want to be mindful We all want to just be understood at the end of the day. So. I think the closer you get to people, humans, the closer you get to people of different backgrounds and different walks of life, the more you start to recognize how similar we all are.
Yeah, exactly. how many challenges we all share, despite how much money someone has in the bank, despite how much fame someone has, despite how much followers someone has. Right. And what we find is that everyone feels their own guilt for where they are and everyone feels their own pressure for where they are and everyone feels their own challenge for where they are and you just start to realize that we all have the same emotions Exactly.
in different mixes. Yeah, we’re all just having a human experience. Exactly. We’re all just going day by day. I think we all need to be a little bit kinder to each other and just take it easy on some people. Yeah, yeah. Cuz we are. We’re all We all have our own struggles and um I don’t know.
I’m I’m an empath, so I like feel for things and I feel for people and um yeah. Yeah, and it starts with you. The the person Yeah, it starts with you. I thought you meant me. I was like, I don’t know I don’t know if I have that power. I was like, thank you. No, no, no, I meant I meant that to to our listeners like it starts with It starts with yourself.
Like if if you can be kinder to yourself, chances are you’re going to be I I found that the days I stopped judging myself, I stopped judging others because it it changed how I saw humanity. So. Uh Kendall, we end every On Purpose episode with a Final Five, which is a fast five round. I ask you a question and you answer it uh with a one word or one sentence maximum.
So it’s super quick and short. Okay. And we have to whisk you away cuz you need to you need to go to your next appointment. But okay, so the first question is what’s something you’re curious about right now? Ooh, um I am super curious about I was saying how I love um Michael Singer and I think what I really love I’m reading their surrender experiment right now and I’m only in the first couple chapters.
So he’s basically This is not a quick answer. I love it though. Please, please. He’s basically at the first part of the book where he’s talking about how he was curious about meditation and how he got into meditation and how he really just was like on a trip with his friends and his girlfriend in the woods and like sat in a corner and or sat at a tree and was like, I’m going to just really dive into this and see what happens.
That’s what I’m curious about right now. It’s just actually like I meditate, I do a lot of breathing work, breathing exercises, and I just really want to tap in Yeah. like Michael Singer did. I love that. That’s beautiful. That’s a great answer. That’s a great answer. Second question, if there’s anything that you’re working on personally right now, what are you working on on yourself? Is there any Yes.
Um I’m working on I’m working on boundaries and I’m working on not mis-stresser. Like I can stress about things in my mind and I overthink and I just so I’m really working on like calming down and just letting things flow better and not being so controlling over things, especially that I can’t control. Love it. Uh question number three, uh what’s your favorite thing about founding 818? Ooh, um an entrepreneur, being a founder.
Probably that. Like I I, you know, was a model and I worked for people a lot. I kind of love being my own boss and really being able to have my own creative a place where I can be creative and just really express my creativity and have so much fun doing all of that creative stuff and I’ve learned so much and learning about the culture and learning about the tequila and everything.
Like I’ve just had the best time, so. Love that. Question number four, what’s something you used to value but you don’t value anymore? Validation. Mhm. Great answer. care anymore. Great answer. At least I’m telling myself that. Yes, yeah. Well, we have to make it a thought first. Right. No, but it it’s true.
Like I used to care so much more about validation. I really don’t care anymore. I’m so happy for you to hear that. Uh fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Ooh, I would do like on like a Sunday you have to take half the day and like not look at your phone or something.
I love that. That’s a legit law. That’s great. Right. That’d be kind of nice. Or the full day for being really crazy. I love that idea. I love that. Kendall Jenner everyone. This was amazing. Kendall, this Thank you. honestly and I’m excited to catch up afterwards, too. But this there was just so much flow and synergy in this whole thing happening and I couldn’t thank you more for Thank you.
doing this with me here on On Purpose. And I hope that this is the first of many times that we do this, That’s not bad. beginning of a beautiful friendship and relationship and uh For sure. I want to Everyone who’s been listening or watching back at home, please let me and Kendall know, tag us letting us know what resonated with you, what connected with you, like what was it that you’ve got curious about or what was something she said that just shifted your perspective or where you learned something new. I’d love to hear it. I
know there were tons of moments for me where I was listening going, this is amazing. This is incredible. This is awesome. So any wisdom nuggets that stuck out to you, please let us know cuz I love seeing what made a difference in your life as well. And a big thank you to Kendall for opening her heart and opening up her mind as well.
I’m honored. Thank you so much. you so much. Thank you. That was amazing. If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I’m also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like a Monk from thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.
